MAY I interrupt this regularly scheduled Wednesday.....
Usually on Wednesday, I do a "Wednesday's Word", and I had one all picked out for today.....
but then, I stalled.
People, I'm tired!
I'm an all or nothing type person.
I truly try to be there for people,
to be a help.....
but, then when that one thing is said that makes me feel so inferior.....
so inadequate.....
then, I'm ready to toss in the towel and quit.
Now.....
I know that's the devil making me feel that way.
And, I know that's exactly how he wants me to feel and he's quite happy with me when I'm in a depressed state of mind and feeling sorry for myself.
But, why, oh why do Christians sometimes feel it necessary to speak their mind? Isn't it best sometimes to just bite our tongue and not say how we truly feel? I'm not saying tell a lie, but just not blurt out every thought that pops into our head. Should I even be saying (typing) these things?
Does this make me one of "those people", too?
(of course I am at times)
Maybe next week we'll be back to a "word"......
maybe not.....
I'm confused and tired and really want to crawl back in bed and pull the covers over my head and sleep until the spring thaw.
PLEASE say I'm not the only one struggling into this New Year.....
PLEASE!
I know.....
my expectations of people are way too high.....
alas, it just sets me up for hurt.
And, satan (can't capitalize his name) isn't going to leave God's people alone, which should make me feel somewhat better, right? Knowing WHO I belong to?
Okay, rant over.
Climbing off my soapbox.
Carry on!
Mrs Deb!! I know you wrote this based on whatever is going on with you right now. But it felt as if it were a personal message for ME! I have been feeling downtrodden and weary the past couple of days. Struggling with feelings on inadequacy and frustration. And I have to keep constantly reminding myself where my worth comes from. So thank you for sharing this with us!
ReplyDeleteYes, I believe it IS ok for you to have these feelings and to write about them. Even as Christians, we are ordinary people. We have feelings, and sometimes those feelings get hurt. The good news is that we have a loving, compassionate Father we can turn to for comfort during those times. (I'm speaking as much to myself right now as I am to you)
I also feel too many people today think they can say any ol' mean thing with the disclaimer "Just being honest" That doesn't make it any less hurtful.
Oh, Ms. Beckey. First of all, I'm sorry that you're struggling, too. I think it's so hard on us Christians to feel this way because we think we should ALWAYS be up and happy and "put on a good front"....when I think being honest....not hurtful....but transparent about our struggles can be a help to others. I'm so glad it helped you. God knew what He was doing when He prompted the post...well, of course He did!!! ;-)
Delete{smiling} Wait...wait... can I just make a nice comment before I say something? Your header---it must be Cades Cove, right? That photo is so pretty Deb. Truly breathtaking....
ReplyDeleteI hope I did not do anything to warrant you feeling this way---I surely speak my mind, which often gets me in trouble. No, your not the only one struggling...it is a constant thing for me to watch what I say---or as my husband said, "Your words have vinegar." It is a constant thing for me, and when the good Lord gave me my word for the year--I was like...well...never mind. Not that I am placing blame, but when I was a child, my dad often beat us kids for lying or telling little white lies--so ever since then, it has been brutal honesty. SAD, to say.
Anyways---no, sweet friend...you are not the only one...and if I did do anything--I am truly sorry.
PLEASE know that your "brutal honesty" is not what hurt my feelings....which, my Daddy used to say I carried around on my shoulder just daring somebody to knock them off. LOL I guess he was right! No, no, no...it was not you, my Friend. Things just kinda get out of hand and blown out of proportion sometimes (by others and by me). God is good...I think writing that post was quite therapeutic for me...feeling lots better already...that plus a praying friend! ;-)
DeleteI so understand, Deb. People's words can hurt so badly. Sometimes I rant a bit and with my sense of humor, I wonder if I may come across wrong. So, like Linda, I apologize if I've said something that may have been taken the wrong way. Deb, I honestly feel such a stronghold of defeat out in the world today, even amongst Christians. When we should be looking up, we're looking at each other trying to poke holes. I'm praying for you, dear friend, because you have such blessed things to say and want you to know that I very much appreciate everything you have to share. And, by the way, the header is beautiful!!
ReplyDeleteNo...just like I told Ms. Linda, it's not got one thing to do with any of my blogging friends. I feel we have such a camaraderie among us blogging buddies. Our blogs are our outlet. Sometimes people don't understand that. HOPE you have an awesome rest of the day...and thank you for prayers....I'm already feeling lots better! Getting feelings off our shoulders can often be a great help!
DeleteGlad to read (via the comments & replies) that you're moving on.
ReplyDeleteLife IS full of challenges, isn't it!
My Momma used to say, " Life gets tedious sometimes." I know exactly what she meant.
DeleteI feel better after reading your comments to comments, to know you are already feeling better. Sometimes it just takes a little rant on that old soapbox to get our heads straight and everything back in focus. You are so loved by your friends here, and by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!! Hang onto that when you are feeling low! God is good all the time! Love & hugs, dear friend!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for prayers. When I wrote this, I was truly just venting...didn't expect the response I got...very encouraging. God is good.
DeleteSometimes I too have what I consider are reasonable expectations of people and most often they let me down. Is it really me and not them? lol. I often wonder. But God knows all and he helps us through it. I have found it much easier to deal with things when properly rested. So please get some rest. I'm sure it will help. Hugs. xx
ReplyDeleteRest....sleep....yes, I do need those things. After Christmas letdown....gray days....all contribute, I'm sure. Thanks so much.
DeleteYes, gray days can really affect us too. Fortunately we've had beautiful sunshine in my city since Christmas. This is highly unusual and very appreciated. Even so I have a friend who told me yesterday that she finds January very difficult and wants it to be over asap.
DeleteHugs to you.....remember what God says about you. He delights in you....You are a daughter of the King!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ms. Renee, for the sweet reminder. I don't know how He can even like me sometimes, let alone delight in me....but, I'm so glad He does.
DeleteSometimes we just have to let off some steam! And I don't see a thing wrong with that. It helps the healing when we get things out in the open. Yes, God is our Rock, we know that....And I know you have talked to Him about whatever/whoever has hurt your feelings. Now let the healing begin. You're a sweetheart Deb, I'm really sorry you were so down, but so pleased to see you're on your way back up. I think that's because He's holding your hand. Isaiah 41:10 !!! Do you know what WWJD stands for backwards??? DJWW ~ Devil Just Won't Win! Love Ya, sending you a BIG ((HUG)) today!
ReplyDeleteI just Love you to pieces, sweet Friend. Big smile about what DJWW stands for....I've never heard that before....gotta remember it. I'm feeling the prayers and hugs and love...you're precious to me.
ReplyDeleteHi Debbie, sorry you met with some hurtful people. Sure is hard isn't it. Sorry I haven't been by in a while. Just trying to catch up:)
ReplyDelete